Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Grocery shopping

Usually I do the grocery shopping on Monday mornings. Same store, same line, same check out gal (Judy), and same bagger (Dan). They ask how the kids and dog are, I ask about their grandkids. I will wait longer if I have to just so I can stay in my same line. They know me.
This Monday I had to make a change in my routine. I had to clean daughter's room. It took all day, so I didn't get to shop in the morning as I usually do. I waited until the younger kids came home, threw them in the car and went shopping. Since we were in a hurry, the two kids helped get the items on my list, and when we had one item left (bathroom tissue), I asked daughter to pick us out a line and wait, while I ran to get our last item. When I returned, she had selected the shortest line and they were already unloading the cart.

I forgot to remind her the shortest line is not always the fastest line.

It turned out the checkout boy was being trained. The trainer was also a boy. The checkout boy had also never seen produce before, at least, not in its natural state. As he picked up a baggie he would hold it up and ask me what it was. Holds up garlic, "That's garlic." He looks it up on his chart for the produce code, types it in, and picks up the next bag. "What's this?" "Potatoes." Looks it up. Next. "What's this?" "Broccoli." Looks it up. Next. "What's this?" "Rutabega." Looks it up. Next. "What's this?" "Celery." Looks it up. Next. "What's this?" "Shrunken heads." Looks it up. Stops. Looks at the kid training him and says, "What do I do?" Trainer says, "What did you say these were?" "Shrunken heads." By now my kids are in hysterics, I'm standing there completely straight faced, and these two boys are totally baffled. I took pity on them, and told them it was celery root. "Is that celery root spelled with a C or an S?" "It's spelled with a P." I don't think they believed me. They couldn't find the code for it (nor for shrunken heads, BTW), so they had to ask.
When we came home daughter regaled her Daddy with the story. Eldest son thought it was good sport, and suggested I might have identified alll the produce as the cheapest thing I could think of. Holds up garlic, "What's this?" "Onions." (celery) "What's this?" "Onions." (broccoli) "What's this?" "Onions." (bananas)"What's this?" "Onions." "These look like bananas to me." "They're banonions. Look it up."
Next Monday, I'll go in the morning. Judy and Dan will love to know who's working the evening shift.


  1. Anonymous9:35 AM

    Hahahaa. I couldn't help but smile to myself as I read this. It's almost scary how dim the youth of the nation is becoming. How can you not be able to identify vegetables??? I would have thought that was a requirement for that job. Sheesh.

    Maybe we should see if Ayla & Orion could get jobs working there...wait, no, Ayla would just eat it all ;-)

  2. Anonymous8:37 AM

    Wow, that was funny. I could never have said "shrunken heads" with a straight face. EHG